I dont know how to say

I don't know how to say, that I finally choose this way
My final way for continuing my future life
My last precious way to achieving my next checkpoint in my life
My last precious way, that I should carefully think before I choose it
But, what I did?
Yes, I just choose the worst way !

Now it start frightening my life, all the time
As I think about it, my tears will definitely come out
like a looser
I don't know why, I just feel like I can't forgive myself for choosing that bad way
I start blaming anything that make this happen
And start comparing my fate to others that make me feel so f**king smaller

Everyday i'm fighting against myself
I'm worried, I'm painful
I have used up all my energy
But seems like no change

I don't know how to say
The only one that I know is
for some this later days,
I am definitely not OK

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